So this is my life right now. I'm Vicky. The OP is my lil sis. The number of people on this planet that I love is dwindling.
The part we left out of that post is that when "Lacy" asked me for money the first time a month ago, I gave it to her. $80, which is sadly still a lot of money for me. She said she owed someone money and she was scared. I really did spend my childhood idolizing that family; they were loud and boisterous and swore like crazy, and seemed quite exciting in comparison to my parents, who are quiet and hard working, like my sister and I are.
Anyway, Lacy asked me for money, I gave it to her, didn't expect to get it back. I operate under the "don't give money to family expecting to be paid back" theory, because that way the bar is set low. Harder to disappoint. The next week, I gave her a lead on a job that she applied for and got. She told me she needed money, didn't think $50 was enough. Here's the text she sent me. If you can parse that shit, you're doing better than I am.
I was already starting to feel. . . weird about the situation, like a tall and cranky ATM, but I gave her $20. In between these two asks for cash is when I learned from my mom that they were clearing out grandma's bank account. Mom also told us later that Lacy had gone to our grandmother, who has worsening dementia and who seriously CAN NOT give informed consent in these situations, waited til our dad left the room, and got grandma to write her a check for $50. She also hadn't started her job.
I could have gotten over the money I gave her, eventually, because I'm an adult in control of my faculties and I can make decisions for myself. But I can't forgive her for taking advantage of our frail, sweet, confused grandma.
The Reddit post got a lot of legal advice, some of which was redundant (my uncles and dad are working on getting power of attorney). What I need is a way to communicate with my aunt and cousin in a way that doesn't lead to murder. Advice?